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Tag Archives: facebook
1. Take pictures of their feet.
2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day today and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.
3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.
4. Complain about bad service at restaurants.
It’s Over! Yeah, you heard me! I found someone else. And no, not just twitter,even though twitter has a helluva lot more common sense than you do. Nope, it’s blogging. It makes me happy, and you’re just going to have to get over it. Besides, we’ve been stuck in that “it’s complicated” phase for awhile, don’t you think it’s time to move on? So, I won’t be needing anymore friend suggestions from people that you “think” I may know. Nosey ain’t cha? No more of your pushy ways to get me to list my entire family. You know I do draw the line somewhere. I mean, what’s next? My blood type? My social security number? You don’t protect me facebook, you just want me to be chum in the water for all the lurking sharks out there. So, you can stop inviting me to every single solitary event that goes on around the globe,I won’t be attending, I mean you do know my exact location right? And I don’t really get off on birthday wishes from strangers, I mean friends, that only know it’s my birthday because you blabbed your mouth about it. No thanks! And I certainly won’t be missing the mountain of game requests I get on a daily either. You’re so demanding! If you need energy, don’t hound me for it instead log off, and go drink some coffee. Or better yet, take a nap so you can daydream about that multi-million dollar farm you must be tending to. You’re free to handle that so leave me alone about it. I also won’t miss being tagged in your selection of the ugliest shoes on the planet pictures. You have no sense of fashion facebook, No one wears those things! And I surely won’t be missing the constant weather reports, news updates and sports broadcasting, which is useless to me since I do own a tv set. As a matter of fact, I cheat on you with the tv, but you both tell me the same lies over and over again like a broken record.I’ll no longer have to be annoyed at reading each individuals personal, intimate and overly dramatic life, updated every two minutes on the dot! I mean what happened to being respectful and discreet? Or the fact a certain someone had a turkey sandwich for lunch today with chips and a soda, I’ll bet that was yummy. You’ll tell me all about it with the next uploaded pic, I’m sure! I really don’t want to hurt your feelings facebook but not everybody looks model fabulous in a bra and panties propped up on a bathroom counter ya know? The toilet’s not an attractive background and we can’t all be barbie and ken! Oh, and I really don’t have all the time in the world to “check” out your music videos or beats or whatever else you do, since judging by the way you post, you do have all the free time on Earth. So go ahead and quit adding me to your groups, since I have no say whether or not I want to be in them.You’re so bossy! I surely don’t need anymore “friends” that post as much as you do, if that’s not you requesting me from one of your other half dozen accounts, since your time is so extremely valuable. And I could care less about the new iphone you bought just to record a brawl that you had set up so you could see someone get knocked out. Hey, if you want real action, visit any big city in America near you. Those of us that’s actually from the ghetto, don’t really get off on internet violence! And if I feel the need to speak with the Lord, I won’t be confessing to you facebook, that’s what normal people call church! So no more one-sided conversations, profile stalkers and gossip It’s Over! I’m free at last!
© Kel Trustsnoone